It’s Really Okay to Not Be Okay: Dealing with Anxiety in the Workplace
The world is on fire, and we’re all in pain, but it’s okay to not be okay.
It’s been a rocky few months in the tech industry. We’re not even a month into the new year, and industry giants such as Google, Amazon, Duolingo and Twitch have announced layoffs. Locally operated e-commerce player Lazada shaved their numbers down by a hundred in a… rather inconsiderate manner, much to the ire of the public and National Trades Union Congress (NTUC).
All in all, it’s been a horrible time for the job market in Singapore. Anxiety is at an all-time high over job security, and that includes mine as well.
That aside, when I first ideated this article, I didn’t even know if I would push it through to the end. That’s because Hsiao Ying giving advice on dealing with anxiety in the workplace is like asking a lion to subsist on a diet of vegetables. Left-field, unreasonable, and out-of-depth. Ask Clement – he’s borne witness to my many nervous breakdowns at work.
Despite my general tendency to easily fluster like a trussed chicken on the chopping block, there’s still something that I’m proud of, and that is how well I mask it. The first time two colleagues sat in for a meeting that I led, they came up to me after and said that it was impressive.
Little did they know – my armpits were soaked through with how much I was sweating. I’m being serious – one of my favourite things to do is swipe my armpit after a client meeting and then try to wipe it off on Clement.
Anyways, this article sat on a backburner for a bit, and then The Straits Times released an article titled “Anxiety, depression could be costing Singapore’s GDP almost $16b a year”. Just today morning – when I was scrolling through news, Bloomberg released an article titled “Unhappy Workers Cost US Firms $1.9 Trillion”.
Isn’t it amazing how feelings can be given cash value as well? Food for thought, indeed.
Before we move into the actual meat of the article, please heed my warnings. I consider myself a realist and not an optimist. People think of me as pessimistic. Clement says that I always imagine the worst-case scenario.
… I consider it contingency planning.
Anyways, I’m not a trained professional in dealing with anxiety or depression. All of the following are tips that get me through the day. Take what I’ve written with a pinch of salt, try them out if you think that they’re good, and figure out what works for you.
After all, we’re all fundamentally different people, and what works for one might not work for the other.
1. A Task List a Day Keeps the Mental Illness at Bay.
It doesn’t. But it’s a catchy phrase, so I’m going to use it as the header of this portion anyways.
So… even before I shut off my computer for the day, I like to re-organise my task list so that I don’t have to do it first thing in the morning the next day. Looking at my task list before I leave work allows for me to re-prioritise and sort out the truly necessary, versus those that can be shelved for later.
The next morning when I come in, the first thing I do is to look at it with fresh eyes so that I get a clear picture of my day ahead. Of course, tasks will be added or checked off over the duration of the day. The last run-through of my task list at the end of the day serves as a soft reset for me.
Ah – another small thing that brings me joy is checking off the to-do box rather than deleting the task entirely. There’s something so inanely satisfying about seeing struck-through tasks. Doing this also makes reporting easier as well, because you have a clear list of what has been accomplished thus far, in case your boss thinks that you don’t do any work.
2. In the Back of My Mind, You Died.
Ever feel like there is a thousand and one things to do on your to-do list, and what feels like five minutes to complete all of them? There’s a song by d4vd that I really like – it’s called “Romantic Homicide” and it’s applicable to tasks that aren’t a priority.
Working in a fast-paced tech start-up means that everything is urgent and is needed almost instantaneously. But see – when everything becomes urgent, then nothing is urgent. Take a deep inhale and exhale, and then decide which you can throw away for later. Compartmentalising my to-do list really helps me with this. I break up my taskings into different levels of urgency, and then go from there.
3. Romanticise Your Life, Because It’s Short.
It might seem like an inane waste of time, but I find that I work much better when I’m looking at things that I really like. It can be something really small or simple, like a cute little profile picture, or a background that calms you.
Take a look at my Notion – isn’t it aesthetically pleasing? Don’t come at me for my choice of quotes or pictures – they put a smile on my face and that is what I need to get me through the day – small pockets of happiness.
I’ve also taken the liberty of printing out cute pictures and pasting them around my table. In fact, the cover photo of this article is pasted on the wall right behind me, so that I can point to it whenever Clement asks me to do something that I don’t want to. Another colleague of mine thought it was too negative, so he put up another quote beside it that says, “Today is a beautiful day”.
… No comment.
4. At the End of the Day, It’s Just a Job.
We have twenty-four hours in a day. Bulk of it is spent at work. In the humdrum of ladder climbing and the rat race, we often forget that we are more than our jobs. For those of you who have a habit of taking work home, consider stopping. Set aside time for yourself, because of what good is this life of yours if you spend it chasing the dreams of others instead of yours?
This was a valuable lesson imparted to me from Clement. I’m still struggling with it, because it’s so much easier to sink into the negativity of the workday and let it overtake everything else outside of it. Trust me – it gets butter. And eggs. And sugar. And flour. And then it makes the sheet cake, and it eats the sheet cake alone, and then it gets better. That quote isn’t mine – I took it from a reality show.
Those of you with difficulty separating your personal and professional life – please start segregating the two. Set aside time for yourself, and your loved ones after work.
5. There’s Nothing Much to Being Happy.
I like the duality of the quote above, because you can either think of it as a point of nihilism, or a point of contentment. It’s a “So what if I’m happy? There’s still so many years ahead that I have to struggle against.” versus a “It doesn’t take me much to be happy. I just need good food to eat and I’m good to go.” kind of thing.
I’ve only lived on this earth for twenty-seven years. That’s a comparatively short time against those who have wandered this earth for three thousand years – like Clement – because he’s from the paleolithic era. Do I think that my life has been well-lived thus far? I’ve made choices that I’ve come to regret – who hasn’t – but I know that I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons from those choices, and I don’t regret taking those lessons.
Something that I promised myself at the beginning of this year when everything felt like doom and gloom was to seek out the things that made me happy. I’m going to go for the small wins in life and learn how to be content with that.
Many little things make up big things, and one day, the small shaky steps that I’m taking will form a wide, firm path.
Stride on, water striders.
